Quote Hell

Either he'll turn Harford into Balkitown, a planned community based on the Perfect Strangers universe or he'll buy a time machine, and he and Cousin Larry will hatch a harebrained scheme to prevent the Civil War from happening.

A bee attack on a human is serious business - it's a life-threatening attack, and even if you do survive, there's a good chance that you'll a) have serious physical injury and/or b) describe the attack with phrases you'd only expect from a member of Motley Crue describing one of his OD's.

I'm going to create the First Annual Meat Loaf Award for the recording artist who best exemplifies the values and spirit of Meat Loaf. And then I'll give it to Bette Midler, who I think is actually Meat Loaf in disguise.

Is the news just turning into one of those bizarre headline contests between Stephen Colbert and Stone Phillips?

"Why on earth he was heating a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," said Kent Police spokesman Paul Petersen.