Two Word Wednesday: Rogue Trader
Each Wednesday I give myself two words to caption a photo. Alternate two-word captions are encouraged.
via The Daily What
Porkins for Third Base Coach!
I know this is ridiculous, but how else am I supposed to respond to a headline like Cubs reportedly interview Wedge?
Two Word Wednesday: Filipino Maverick
There's a Wordless Wednesday project, which I learned about through Bodhipaksa's blog. But I have trouble not talking, so I'll give myself two words each Wednesday to caption the photo. Alternate two-word captions are encouraged.
Anyway...
via The Daily What
I love you too much to let you say "darn"
I'm guessing the anti-swearing noxious gas plug-in is not the most popular item in computing:
There has recently been many incidents where people got in trouble for the language they use in social media sites.
Maybe when your “bad language” disturbs you with a bad smell, you will start to understand that it might also have other, more serious consequences.
This device wouldn't have done much for me, as I was probably the last person in my school to start swearing. It wasn't until one fateful summer day right before sixth or seventh grade, when a couple of my friends, realizing I would need some verbal ammunition to fend off the troublesome elements in the hallways, essentially staged a swearing intervention, refusing to leave until I'd said all of "those" words at least once. And so I did. It made no difference in dealing with troublesome elements, as it turned out, but it felt cool.
By the way, "Swearing Intervention" would make a great cable show, wouldn't it? I'd love to hear the letters being read: "It hurts me to see you coming home early, upsetting no one, using the phrase 'gosh darn it'... we are going to wilderness camp right after this f___ing meeting."
Maybe noxious anti-swearing gas is for you. Maybe it isn't. But I ask this much: if you do decide to fight swearing with pepper spray, please don't bring it to this guy's class:
How did it take six minutes to get to Costner?
The 100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time, and The Postman doesn't show up until two-thirds in?
What I learned from this video is that if George Lucas produced a Kevin Costner film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Nicolas Cage, the world would end. Would, or should.
via Geeks Are Sexy
Vince Russo Apparently Working for NASA
I suppose space scientists think they can win support for their research by giving new planets sexy names now?
The two worlds circling 24 Sextanis are also in a close embrace, keeping within about 70 million miles (112.6 million kilometers) of each other.
What the CalTech release fails to mention is that the planets have names: 24 Sex b and 24 Sex c.
...
Sometimes newer stars get named after the instruments or techniques used to find them, giving us exoplanets with names such as OGLE-TR-56b.
That's thanks to the Optical Gravitational Lensing Experiment (OGLE), which was designed to study variability in starlight.
Sex C? OGLE? Those of us who follow pro wrestling (or, alternately, those of us who've gone through eighth grade) have seen terrible puns like this before, and the man responsible is one Vince Russo, a writer who likes his entendre obvious and juvenile. (Look up "The Johnsons" in wrestling history and you'll see what I mean.) Clearly NASA has hired Russo to find a new, younger, brasher audience for their projects. That means space suits that show more skin, astronauts with "gimmick" personalities (expect a porn star astronaut who serves as a "payload specialist") and, of course, risque names for heavenly bodies. I've Russo-ized the map of these new planets just to give you an idea of what the space program will look like from here on out:
Here's one last thought that will keep you up at night: Russo loves to make up dirty acronyms. And now he's working for NASA, where basically everything is an acronym. Houston, we have a problem.
Don't Laugh At McNugget Emergencies II: The Revenge
Wow, remember about a year ago when a woman repeatedly dialed 911 because the local McDonald's ran out of McNuggets? McNugget rage is back, baby, and the sequel is much darker than the first installment. At least for those trying to order McNuggets at 6:30 am, which is not McNugget Time:
You have to be impressed by the employees here. If they can team up that quickly to pull an angry woman away from the drive-thru window, imagine how quickly they could put together your order of two Filet O'Fish, no cheese, a snack wrap with light dressing and a small orange drink. And even after they've all been physically attacked, even after their window has been bashed in, they still hand the next guy his order. If those employees didn't each get a coupon for 50 cents off medium fries for their heroism, then I'll be very disappointed.
In keeping with the usual arc of movie trilogies, McNugget Emergency III will feature a hungry heroine teaming up with Ewoks and Sofia Coppola, to find fast food in the Old West. In 3D.
(Thanks, Susan)
Tiger Mike: Swearing is my privilege
"I swear, but since I am the owner of this company, that is my privilege... that differentiates me from you, and I want to keep it that way. There will be absolutely no swearing, by any employee, male or female, in this office, ever."
Words to live by from Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis of Tiger Oil Company in Houston. Tiger Mike is mostly a mystery, but we do know two things. The first is obvious from his memos: he is the greatest boss in American history.
The second comes from Editor and Publisher and is more frightening.
“Tiger Mike’s wardrobe consisted of only one-piece khaki polyester leisure suits with white shoes and white belt.”
This is far scarier than you might realize. Do you know what an angry oil baron looks like in a khaki leisure suit? I do, I looked it up!
Ok, he's more mannequin than oil man, but the horror is still pretty palpable.
And for heaven's sake, don't say hi, HE'S TRYING TO SAVE HIS THROAT
Sweet Pain
World-famous rock star, actor, businessman, TV star, friend of many ladies... by most any measure, Gene Simmons is a success.
But Gene Simmons has a dark secret, and I'm not referring to KISS writing songs with Michael Bolton. We have irrefutable photographic evidence that there is one thing Gene Simmons can't do. He can't feed himself.
That's because only one man can feed Gene Simmons. And his name... is Carrot Top.
Part of me is curious who feeds Carrot Top, but most of me fears the answer.
(Happy cooking, Mental Floss)
Ke Nako, Penguins
Do you feel the excitement? Or at least hear, see or smell it? It's World Cup time, and fans across the world are ready to cheer on their teams; in fact, over a billion people are expected to watch this year's Cup, though hopefully not all at the same bar.
Now granted, a lot of these billion people are going to be wearing novelty hats and face paint, but even so, a billion is a lot of people; as far as I can tell, this tournament is about the only thing the whole world rallies around (at least on purpose - we passively unite on the inability to believe that it's not butter).
That's pretty special on its own, and the best part is it's getting even more special thanks to some guy in South Korea, who decided to infect penguins with World Cup fever, dressing them in uniforms and putting them on a penguin-sized pitch.
I propose we go species by species, bringing each one into the World Cup mix over time, until literally the entire world is in on this thing. I'd go with elephants next, since they already play polo, or maybe donkeys, given their basketball prowess. Then something out of left field, like paramecium or hydrangeas, and the momentum will start building on itself. Granted, we might have to start holding World Cup tournaments in wildlife sanctuaries or other habitat (Great Barrier Reef 2018!) but the potential here is so huge it'll be a small price to pay.
Who's with me, besides uniformed penguins and soccer-loving I Can't Believe It's Not Butter users?
