There's an outside chance "digging up dirt" means putting uncooked squash in the Playplace ball tank.

We're thinking of changing the sign on our front door to read "NO SOLICITORS OR VIOLENT GENOME CREATURES."

I've been wondering if Americans for a Balanced Budget Amendment had taken a position on the Balanced Budget Amendment.

The only one in my circle who would even broach the subject was a great aunt of mine. She was generally supportive of me writing about the darker topics, though her advice is suspect given that she's been convinced since the 80's that she's actually singer/songwriter Cat Stevens.

I went through a phase where anytime someone called me up to hang out, I'd quote Coolio and say "How we gonna get there? We ain't got no car, fool!" But that ended after both of my friends stopped calling me and hired goons to physically drag me to the billiard halls and rock clubs that made up our social lives.