He's still Jeff Hardy, but he's in space!

The WWE Kids website has a games section in which you can do all sorts of unpleasant or unentertaining things, from hitting Randy Orton with a sledgehammer (a total ripoff of the game where you hit Kurt Angle with a board) to having Hornswoggle clean Snitsky's teeth (I wish I was joking, but I'm not.) My wife and I were split on the merits of the games; she felt they were unplayable, while I tended to think they were simply incomprehensible. But all that changed when we found this game:

Remember that guy known as Jeff Hardy?
Well he turned his hairpaint into a space machine!
He's still Jeff Hardy... ("I'm still Jeff Hardy...")
But he's in space! ("But I'm in space?")

I couldn't play "Jeff Hardy in Space" for more than about five seconds before cartoon Jeff would fall into oblivion and the game would inform me that I'd scored 4-6 points, but I think the idea is that you help Jeff jump from glowing orange ball of goo to glowing orange ball of goo so that he's so high up in space that he can recover Matt Morgan's DNA. Which helps kids as they work to be our future. If that isn't the best thing you've ever seen, done or eaten, then may I politely ask you to gouge out your eyes, cut out your tongue, or fly 3000 light years off your motorcycle.

Later this month Living Indefinitely, Mystery Partner's parent corporation, will launch Living Indefinitely Kids!, which will, of course, feature a Mystery Partner Kids section. And our games will totally rule:

Run Over The Ultimate Warrior With Lawnmowers
Lex Luger's Too-Tight T-Shirt Factory
Greg Oliver Ranks Canadian Wrestlers... In Space!
Yell In Mick Foley's Ear starring Vince McMahon
Art Donovan's Guess How Much That Fella Weighs!
Jake Roberts is, like, fucker!!! starring JT Lightning
Kevin Nash's Black History Trivia Challenge

If you have kids, stay tuned! If you don't, go make some and then come back. You'll be glad you did.