Torricelli Drops Out, Reenters Race

TRENTON, N.J. (CT) - Embattled Democratic Senator Robert Torricelli, who only days earlier had dramatically ended his reelection campaign by bowing out of the Senate race, announced joyfully that he had changed his mind and would run after all. "The other day I told you that ending my campaign was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do,"Â? Torricelli told several breakfast patrons at a Denny's in downtown Trenton. "Well, I'm proud to say that rejoining the race to preserve our party's Senate majority is the funniest- I mean, greatest thing I've ever had to do!" Torricelli, politically damaged by a scandal and rebuked by a Senate ethics committee, had been trailing badly in state polls. But data collected after his tearful exit speech suggested Torricelli had earned a "compassion bounce," meaning that his poll numbers had gone up when some voters felt bad for the senator as he blubbered and cried on television. Diehard Torricelli campaign workers misread this data to mean that Torricelli had regained status as a competitive candidate, and urged the candidate to rejoin the New Jersey race. Sources say Torricelli did not originally wish to return to the campaign, but agreed after several supporters gave him a fur coat, a new sport utility vehicle and a copy of "The Sopranos"Â? Season 1 DVD autographed by actors James Gandolfini and Edie Falco. Reaction in political circles outside New Jersey ranged from extremely confused to tired and constipated. Democratic National Committee chair Terry McAuliffe, clearly tired of defending the controversial senator, announced that the party "wouldn't spend freakin' counterfeit money in New Jersey, much less real dough."Â? Conversely, retiring Republican Senator Strom Thurmond, when asked for comment, told his nurse to hold up a pair of blue boxer shorts, which he then endorsed in the New Jersey race.