Raw Meat - September 8, 2008

WELCOME TO RAW IS JERICHO! After getting destroyed by Shawn Michaels in their unsanctioned bout, the remains of Y2K were put into the championship scramble after Randall Orton and his minions (Dibiase, Rhodes, and a debuting Manu - the son of Afa) took out CM Punk. Jericho got the final pin of the scramble and became the official holder of the Big Gold Belt. So Jericho has an immediate challenger in HBK and a logical opponent in CM Punk after Punk gets his revenge on Randall.

Curtain Jerker Interview: Chris Jericho
Jericho has the gold AND the evil smile on his face! Unforgiven was a better PPV than I had anticipated and I thought putting the strap on Jericho was an interesting move so no complaints here. This isn't Hogan vs. Yoko at WM9.

They already got the new nameplate on the belt, nice. Jericho explains what happened to those who didn't watch Unforgiven. The crowd is HOT against him which is really awesome to see and hear. Jericho takes his shirt and tie off to show the wounds that Michaels inflicted AND A RABID H-B-K CHANT ERUPTS! THE BLOODLUST! THEY CHEER FOR HIS WELTS!

Jericho says that Michaels won nothing. His hand was raised but it was an unsanctioned match, an unofficial match that didn't count so he accomplished nothing. Six months ago, he told us good things happen to good people and he is a good person. I gotta say that the heel Jericho is really started to take off for me.

BTW did you know that he beat The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same night? And Hulk Hogan body slammed Andre The Giant? And President Lincoln has a bad headache?

Jericho outsmarted Batista, who was very close to winning last night, and the fans must recognize how good Jericho is.

THE GM IS OUT! Mike Adamle congratulates Jericho and says CM Punk suffered a concussion and wasn't clear to wrestle. He had to find a championship caliber replacement and Chris answered the call. But CM Punk lost his title without having a chance to defend it. Punk isn't here tonight but next week LIVE ON RAW he will be given the opportunity to regain the title. CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho for the BIG GOLD BELT IN A STEEL CAGE! Ohhhh PLEASE bring the old-school blue steel cage back for one last night??

Jericho is ready to hit the bricks but Adamle says he needs a main event for tonight. It's gonna be Chris Jericho vs. THE ANIMAL DAVE! Batista was on Iron Chef America last night and he tried to sound like a culinary expert...and it was entertaining to be sure.

Women's Title: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix [C]
Candice is out to watch. Good, let's keep her as eye candy and out of the ring. Beth womanhandles Mickie to start and they are out to the outside. Beth lays her out then throws her back into the ring. She picks up Mickie by one arm but Mickie reverses it! That momentum is short-lived however. Mickie does fight back and hits a neckbreaker but Phoenix goes right back to work. HOW DARE YOU NO-SELL THE RUDE AWAKENING!

Mickie hits a poor hurricarana and uses her educated feet to gain the upper hand until Beth uses her brute strength to take control and hits a very fluffy spinebuster for the pin.

Beth Phoenix, 1 baconator

Jamie Noble wants Layla to come to ringside for his match against Regal tonight and Jillian comes out of nowhere to serenade them. Oh no, Derek and the Dominos, I'm sorry I'm so sorry. Noble says he's taking Layla to the Olive Garden tonight after he beats Regal. Hot.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal
Regal starts clubberin' early on and nails a violent hip toss. Noble gets a headscissors but Regal nails a nice suplay to retake control. Regal puts Noble into some kind of armlock then puts on a headlock AND THE CROWD GOES APATHETIC! Both get to their feet and Noble hits a crossbody for the two count. Noble is the victim of a knee to the face on a corner charge and another knee to the head for the Regal win.

William Regal, 1 baconator

Regal tells Noble that dreams only come true in fairy tales and goes outside, offering Layla his arm. SHE ACCEPTS! NOW I AIN'T SAYIN SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER BUT...

JBL vs. Charlie Haas
Haas this week is doing his JBL impression. He's CHL, Charlie Haas Leyfield. THE CROWD CHANTS C-H-L! AWESOME! JBL does not look amused and yells Haas, "You are mocking me." Um...yeah he is. He calls Haas a disrespectful punk. He deserves better and he will be respected, he deserves that. The C-H-L chants continue!

They start to face off and JBL walks off...is this going to be the precursor to his second retirement? The referee counts JBL out and Haas gets the win.

Charlie Haas, 0 baconators [There Was No Match!]

Backstage, JBL is still fuming as Batista and Kelly are laughing about Haas' parody. JBL says Batista should understand, they are main eventers and JBL and Haas have nothing in common. Batista agrees - Haas won his match tonight. EPIC BURN.

Todd Grisham has Rey Mysterio backstage and Rey Rey says that Kane attacked him and had to recover and rehab. He starts speaking Spanish and I actually understood some of it. He calls himself a wrestler and a Latin warrior. His spirit is still alive and he's nobody's victim.

The Miz and John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio and Evan Bourne
Ahh a little ECW/Raw talent exchange. Bourne was an indie wrestler better known as Matt Sydal before coming to ECW brought to you by WWE. Bourne and Mysterio both show off their high-flying skills until Miz and Morrison take control. Miz hits a nifty headscissors on the outside then Morrison nails a chinlock kinda sorta. Mysterio gets the hot tag and cleans house as only as he can.

Morrison gets the ORTON KICK TO THE HEAD on Rey but Bourne makes the save. Morrison tries a kick off the ropes but nails his partner accidentally and Rey connects with the 6-1-9, tags in Bourne and SHOOTING STAR PRESS AND THE PIN! AND HE DIDN'T BREAK HIS NECK, DID HE BROCK?

Bourne and Mysterio, 3 baconators

After the match, KANE IS ON THE TITAN TRON! He says next week, they will face one-on-one. He won't say why he picked Rey but he gives a hint...showing the OLD SCHOOL KANE MASK! WOOOOOO!

Interview: Randall Orton
They changed Randall's music. Hmmm I don't like it. Randy says he broke his collarbone against HHH and couldn't retain his title but the difference between him and CM Punk is that Orton actually earned his championship while Punk got lucky and karma caught up with him. Karma? Really? Orton says he felt threatened as an injured man and that's why he did what he did to Punk. Punk should thank him because it saved him from being beaten over and over in the championship scramble. And Jericho can thank Orton anytime he wants.

PRICELESS! Here comes Ted Dibiase Jr., Cody Rhodes, and Manu. Rhodes confronts Orton and tells him to check his facts because of they hadn't done what he did, Orton wouldn't have been able to kick Punk out. They beat Punk down and took out Kofi Kingston. Dibiase says Randall has to admit what they did to CM Punk was impressive...AND ORTON SUCKERPUNCHES HIM AND TAKES OFF!

I'm confused...are they gonna join together or not? It makes so much sense for them to but they don't wanna pull the trigger.

Rhodes, Dibiase, and Manu vs. Cryme Tyme and Kofi Kingston
Manu is dominant and picks up the win for his team. Sorry my FIOS was acting up.

Dibiase, Rhodes, and Manu, 1.5 baconators

SANTINO IS OUT! AND SO IS THE HONK-A-METER! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! "You see The Mountie, he only had the title for two days!" Shove that in your blog, Perez Hilton! YES YES YES! I LOVE SANTINO!

Santino Marella vs. Snitsky
Glad to see Snitsky is still getting a paycheck. Snitsky misses a charge to the corner and Santino knocks him over for the quick pin.

Santino Marella, FIVE BACONATORS! MWAHAHAHAH!

After the match, Santino and Beth kiss and get lovey dovey.

Backstage, Kelly Kelly feels bad for CM Punk and Adamle says he'll be back next week. Jericho bursts in and says he's in no shape to compete against Batista after last night. He needs to heal for his title defense next week. Adamle says he did Jericho a favor last night and tonight he needs Jericho to have a main event performance against Batista NEXT!

Chris Jericho vs. Batista
Dave! goes on the offense early with a hip toss and a right hand to drop Jericho. Batista sends Jericho to the corner and calls a powerslam spot. AND ADAMLE COMES OUT! STOP THE MATCH! THE CROWD IS GOING TO RIOT!

Adamle says he's sorry but he "misdiagnosed" the condition of Chris Jericho and wants to even things up by making it a handicapped match. It'll be Batista vs. Jericho and JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD. Oh da baby.

Back from commercial, JBL is giving it to Jericho. Jericho gets the tag and they double-team the Animal in the corner. But Dave! fights back until JBL gets the tag and distracts the ref while Jericho works over Batista. Batista gets the upper hand but Lance Cade distracts him and JBL nails the Clothesline From Hell and Jericho sneaks back in to get the pin!

Jericho and JBL, 2 baconators

Afterwards, JBL tells Cade to hold Batista up and smacks him silly. Cade gets into the action as Bradshaw yells at the Animal. Cade and JBL double-team him but Batista makes the save AND SPEARS JBL! SPINEBUSTER TO CADE! THE ROPES ARE SHAKING! VINTAGE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! Batista Bomb to Cade as Jericho watches from the top of the ramp. And another week of Raw is in the books.

The Bottom Line: A lot to like here. Jericho as champ opens up a lot of potential feuds and Batista-JBL could work. Randall Orton hasn't gotten much better on the stick but as the leader of the second generation brigade he could do alright. And Santino...what can be said? He's the highlight of every Raw. I'm re-energized about the product after some downtime.