FMAD's Unforgiven Roundtable
By FatManAfterDark - Posted on September 7th, 2008
The FatManAfterDark version of the Truth Commission is here to give its predictions for tonight's WWE Unforgiven PPV. And away we go.
SW Dave: Michelle McCool
Brother Brady: Michelle McCool is the Diva equivalent of John Cena, having been pushed to the moon, while Maryse just won her first match on Friday. McCool wins after about 38 seconds, then they will dance/shop/kiss/compare chest sizes together.
FMAD: Sorry who exactly are these people? What? She's dating who? Okay then I am going with Undertaker's girlfriend.
SW Dave: Dibiase/Rhodes
Brother Brady: To make up for a lack of racial diversity in the main event scene as well as some racially charged comments by a top writer, WWE will put the world tag titles on two African-Americans whose gimmick is to steal things from white people and sell them on the street. Then Randy Orton will show up and KICK EVERYONE IN THE HEAD.
FMAD: I see the champions retaining and continuing this feud as Dibiase and Rhodes join a stable of multi-generational stars with the returning Randall Orton and Natty Neidhart.
SW Dave: Shawn Michaels
Brother Brady: This is one of those matches they throw in without a lot of buildup so everyone has a chance to go to the bathroom and fill up on those terrible stadium nachos. But I'm warning you against that now, because Jericho will win this match with the help of the returning Ralphus! Then on RAW, the recently hired Norman Smiley will debut, and he'll feud with Jericho over the services of Ralphus, leading to a special Ralphus on a Pole match at Wrestlemania. Jericho will win, and he'll carry Ralphus to the back yelling "I HAVE LIVED THE AMERICAN DREAM."
FMAD: The only hope to save this ridiculous show. Here's my hope: Jericho destroys Michaels again. Michaels goes on a hiatus while Jericho dethrones CM Punk and calls HBK a dirty yankee from now until January when Shawn returns to win the Royal Rumble and there's your WrestleMania main event.
SW Dave: Mark Henry
Brother Brady: The bookers have no real option other than to put the belt on Michael Mike The Miz. After the match Bam Neely will ask to borrow Miz's hat, but he'll forget to return it a week later and that will lead to The Most Extreme Feud Of All Time.
FMAD: Matt Hardy finally gets the ECW title from the World's Strongest Man With Saba Simba As His Manager but the feud doesn't end there, folks.
SW Dave: Batista (FMAD Side note: Shocker that Dave picked DAVE!)
Brother Brady: Zombie Rey will bring several of his zombie allies into this one - Kane will successfully pull off Zombie Paul Gaughin's arm, but will be overwhelmed by the awesome power of Zombie Redd Foxx. Then CM Punk will hit his finisher on Zombie Jacques Cousteau, who will no-sell it and eat him. Dave will kick Zombie Cousteau in the midsection, causing him to barf on JBL, who does the job to CM Punk once again.
FMAD: I am still hoping they are going to do the right thing and keep the belt on CM Punk...so he can lose it to Chris Jericho (see my plans above).
SW Dave: HHH
Brother Brady: THE Brian Kendrick will repeatedly be on the verge of victory, only THE OTHER Brian Kendrick (actually WWE developmental talent Faye Dunaway) will keep breaking up the pin attempts. HHH will get the pin after bringing a mirror to the ring and showing Jeff Hardy that his pointy beard design has gotten way out of control.
FMAD: Hunter isn't jobbing the belt to anyone in his match. He should hold onto the title long enough to get a new design so he can feud with Edge. And there's your Smackdown WrestleMania main event.
See you tonight!!
