This Man Looks Better Than You, Despite Being Maven

Here's a man who knows how to make lemons from lemonade! Maven has parlayed his experience selling Simon Dean's Simon System into a guest expert gig with Home Shopping!

Maven has degrees in history and social science and is a history buff who loves to read (and occasionally write) poetry.

And his poetry is flowing and lyrical. Maven appreciates the beauty of a sunset, or the sweetness that comes from the smile of a child. Here is a poem Maven wrote about a lovely lady friend:

I wish I could lay right next to you.
I wouldn't be happier anywhere else.
You have a great sense of humor.
You're very charming.
It's hard not to like you.
I wish I could meet you.
You're probably much better looking in person.

Compare this to, say, Samoa Joe and his "edgy" poems about "America." Samoa Joe does not have a degree in social science, is not a history buff, and hates children.

He enjoys spending time outdoors, especially fishing, and stays fit with a regular workout regimen.

And. Looks. Good. Doing. It.

He’s also a big sports fan and enjoys watching games with friends. He was raised in Nashville, Tenn., but considers Harrisonburg, Va., home.

And his home is your home, because Maven makes people feel at home. Winning smile, nice clothes, college degrees. Maven is the ultimate sensitive 90's guy. I am going to have a daughter so that she can date him, and they can pick up some cubic zirconia and collectible plates on their way to visit me.