If it ends the Five Knuckle Shuffle it ain't all bad

Just when I was starting to like the guy: John Cena's undergoing neck surgery because of the vicious Dave! bomb he received at SummerSlam. So no Cena for like a year, unless he takes up motorcycling like Randall Orton, in which case he'll be out for a year and three months.

Wait, am I reading this right?

Cena will undergo surgery today performed by Dr. Joseph Maroon, renowned Neurosurgeon, Professor of Neurosurgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and Team Neurosurgeon for the Pittsburgh Steelers. WWE.com will attempt to obtain post surgical interviews with both Dr. Maroon and John Cena later today

Not to pick on the man's name, but is this a surgery or a Bugs Bunny cartoon?

Lastly, in the spirit of the post-surgery Steve Austin, known for at least 3 days as "Bionic Redneck," Cena will need a new nickname with his surgically reconstructed neck, so I hereby open the first ever Mystery Partner contest. Suggest a new nickname for Cena in the comments field using the word "Bionic." The winner receives a ticket to my next wrestling match or a 30 cents off Shake n Bake coupon, whichever I happen to have around the house at the time. Contest ends when Cena returns.

And... go!