Powell Negotiates Truce Between Mayor McCheese, Burger King

OAK BROOK, Illinois (CT) - Secretary of State Colin Powell announced that Mayor McCheese and Burger King, the leaders of McDonaldland and Burgerland, have agreed to a cease-fire and may begin talks for a permanent peace agreement later this year. "This is a historic day for peace and brotherhood among fast food franchises,"Â? Powell said at a press conference at McDonaldland's capital. Powell had been pushing President Bush's "Menu for Peace" proposal to both sides for weeks, and reached the cease-fire after a three-day diplomatic blitz. Tensions between McDonaldland and Burgerland have existed since Burgerland was created in 1954 under a UN mandate. Mayor McCheese announced he would "never, never, never" accept an independent Burgerland, and launched an aggressive price war. The two have had four price wars since; several groups within McDonaldland have maintained a "price intifada"Â? against Burgerland since 1997. Analysts fears talks would break down after the Hamburglar was spotted stealing several Whopper sandwiches from underneath the negotiating table, but the parties were back on track after Mayor McCheese offered King Burger's son, Prince Burger, a Happy Meal Deluxe with free Sega Mini-Game in restitution. "Peace isn't easy,"Â? Powell said, "but we're willing to give it a try." Talks planned for November would focus on outstanding issues like recipe sharing, sports event sponsorship, and restoring democracy in Burgerland, which has not had elections since King Burger was crowned nearly fifty years ago. Powell said the parties have invited Dairy Queen and Wendy to participate in the talks as a good faith gesture. Powell denied that his unusually strong focus on fast food peace was due to being out of favor with the powerful Cheney/Rumsfeld/Rice faction that dominates American foreign policy. "My work here is high priority... I think,"Â? he said.