"As soon as the blue light went on triple h went running"

We here at Mystery Partner subscribe to a simple credo: why provide you with in-depth wrestling news when we can take endless potshots at the Warrior, or share a good chuckle over the antics of the Shockmaster? Hence our new feature where we comb the Internet for stories of fans meeting wrestlers. Our inaugural column was going to feature Chris Jericho, but HHH informed us that he just doesn't draw and so we're doing Triple H instead.

One thing that's clear from the stories I found: a lot of people think their lives are headed down the toilet until they meet Triple H. I don't think there's anything I can add to such a statement. Take, for example, what "Becker" says on MySpace under "Who I'd like to meet:"

I met Triple H already so I've taken care of this part of my life.

"Who I'd like to meet" is, I believe, intended to tell a visitor what you're looking for socially and/or romantically. So Becker here is either in love with Triple H and/or a secret identity of Stephanie McMahon. One hopes Becker doesn't accidentally end up at a singles dance party one night and, upon being approached by a prospective lady friend, remark, "I don't need you, I met Triple H already."

By the way, Stephanie is not the only person in love with Hunter, and no, I'm not referring to Joanie Laurer. TripleHUnleashed.com has a section of Triple H poetry that includes a romantic paean from "Maura" entitled "My Love Letter To Hunter." Here's an excerpt:

I love a lot of things about you.

Your face lights up when you smile.

You have the cutest little ears.

I wish I could lay right next to you.

I wouldn't be happier anywhere else.

You have a great sense of humor.

You're very charming.

It's hard not to like you.

I wish I could meet you.

You're probably much better looking in person.

Now, unlike Mr. T, I was not made for love, so I'm just making an educated guess, but "You're probably much better looking in person" is one of those things you just don't say to a potential wrestling suitor, along with, "With a nicer rug you'd be as cute as Chavo Guerrero" or "I kind of like that you let yourself go after that third tag title reign." HHH does carry a sledgehammer, after all.

We've gotten off-track. Here's another story in which Triple H graces the Mr. Olympia contest with his presence:

I met Triple H as soon as we walked in the door. He was awesome in person. We talked and I thanked him for being a part of our festivities. He was happy to be there even though he said there were a lot of glitches during his part of the Mr. Olympia show that night on stage.

Now maybe he was just expressing disappointment that the show didn't go off as well as anyone had hoped - what am I saying, we're talking about the Cerebral Assassin here! The guy was getting into backstage politics of a sport he's not even in!

These days Hunter has a helicopter on standby in case Stephanie births a baby or whatever, but in the old days Triple H had to work the road like the rest of the boys. From spreadingtheword:

after Raw one night that I went to, I met Triple H, X-Pac, and William Regal at a gas station. I got to say hi to X-Pac, and watched Triple H, who is a monster, pump gas because William Regal couldn't figure it out. X-Pac seemed nice, and I am sure they were tired so we did not bug them at all, but it was pretty cool.

Any encounter with X-Pac that doesn't involve an order of protection is "pretty cool." My lawyers would like that last statement stricken from the record.

Super G got to meet nearly the entire Clique:

I met Triple H, Nash and Hall and they were all great and didn't object to signing autographs or taking pictures... and Hall didn't object to pot either.

Wow, I never would've guessed that! Maybe I should start a column called "No Duh, Yahoo Answers"? Nah.

Finally, sweet sweet esoterica. From I Lubs You:

I met Triple H in the Original Pankcake house down the street-before they knocked it down :)

They probably tore it down because they couldn't spell "Pancake" correctly.

And from louie heff, the quote of the day:

i met triple h and china at k mart in hew hampshere
they were both cool
(as soon as the blue light went on triple h went running but china was cool)

Make note of this, Great Khali! Offer Triple H additional savings during SummerSlam and the WWE Title will be yours.