Chavo Isn't Just a Former ECW Champion, He's Also a Client and other news

Wrestling news that crawled out of a hellish, drug-fueled existence to set a record at this week's Home Run Derby:

*Chavo turns back the clock fifteen years. He has hair again, and his uncle is the Gobbledygooker.

*Randall Orton has a daughter. The doctors won't tell you this, but I have it on good authority that Alanna Marie "Ace" Orton was born with a cast on her left arm.

*Long live Russo: "[Booker T and Samoa Joe] had a match last Sunday at the Victory Road pay-per-view where neither was declared the winner and Booker T leaving with the world title although Joe is the champion. Fast forward to Impact where Booker still has the belt but Joe tells him that he can hold onto it until their next match at the Hard Justice PPV on August 10. Then later in the show, Booker says he wants to give someone a chance to win the title and picks Consequences Creed for a match. But he's not the champion - Joe still is. Good luck trying to make sense of it all."

*C.M. Punk had the highest quarter hour on last week's RAW. Let's job him out to Lance Cade!

*Punk has our quote of the day as well: "I think I was reading the nutritional value in a can of Pepsi when my name came up [in the draft]." Isn't that like saying "I was reading a list of Uwe Boll's best movies"?

Edit: I hereby apologize to Pepsi for the above comparison.

*Oh, speaking of movies! Zeus is in The Dark Knight! He shows up in a scene where Batman is hanging out with some underprivileged kids and yells "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"