Hapless Minister Finally Gives Stamp Speech

NEW YORK (CT) - Ecuador's postage minister expressed disappointment at the United Nations after presenting a compelling case for stamp awareness that failed to persuade hardline delegates. In a fiery address, Minister Carlos Marquez explained his $261 billion plan, which would broadcast stamp-promotion ads on television and radio stations worldwide (save for tiny San Marino, which boasts four stamp collections for every citizen). "Stamps have feelings too. Right now their feelings are hurt,"� Marquez said. "The UN cannot sit idly anymore… history and posterity beckon us to act." French diplomats told reporters that the speech hadn't won their votes. "What speech? I am not sure about what you mean,"� said Henri Lefleur, Minister of Dealing With Countries Besides France. Zeb Markovsky, Russia's Undersecretary For Countries Besides France also expressed hesitation, then tried distracting reporters: "That is worthy of further study- hey, look, it's Halley's Comet!" Experts attribute the speech's failure to timing: it was delivered while Secretary of State Colin Powell was laying out his case against Iraq. Marquez's plan has been fraught with setbacks. Formulated in 1978, his initial speech at the General Assembly was postponed when Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan. Rescheduled for 1981, Marquez had to wait again after the assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan. Flare-ups in the Communist bloc pre-empted speeches in the 1980's, as did Ethiopian famine and the Challenger disaster. Marquez took the podium again on August 2, 1990, but attention shifted to Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Marquez had no luck even when Secretary-General Kofi Annan declared "World 'Finally Hear the Stamp Speech' Day"� in 1997; the power went out as he began speaking. But now Marquez has given his speech, at long last. "It's in the UN's hands now,"� he told reporters not important enough to cover Powell's speech. "I'm satisfied, whatever happens."