Expect several clotheslines to be thrown in Madrid

Fmad and I are investigating a press release on 411mania that says The Warrior is making a comeback:

On June 25th 2008 in Barcelona, after a 12 year absence from the ring, The Ultimate Warrior will officially make his wrestling comeback in a match against [Orlando] Jordan. The news was confirmed this morning by Warrior's agent, Bernie Gernay in a statement.

AghaghaghaghaghaYOUCANFEELITYOUCANFEELITDUDE

Or can you? There's a video on YouTube that says it's The Warrior hitting somebody with (surprise) clotheslines at an NWE show.

It sort of looks like the slightly greyer fellow that is Warrior 2008, but it's awfully fuzzy, and he didn't make any political commentary. So I went to the only site on the web I could trust to tell me the truth, without any spin and without any PC nonsense.

No, not RussoIsGod.com, the Warrior's personal website.

I went to the section marked "Warrior Speaks," figuring it would have info on any upcoming appearances, but all it said was "call to undefined function." On any other site, I'd know that was an error message, but on the Warrior's site I had to doublecheck to make sure it wasn't a blog post. And most everything else was a link to "coming soon." So, long story short, I still can't confirm the comeback match.

However, I did learn one thing, from the Warrior's "Word of Caution" page:

I am also NOT confused about my gender.

So if you thought for some reason that a guy who legally changed his name to Warrior and spent most of his professional life as a large, muscled, shirtless fellow, was confused about his gender, well, think again.

But if it IS true, and the Warrior really IS making a comeback after 12 years away from the ring, surely he'll have to do some training. And how, you ask, should he prepare himself? Should he jump off the tallest building in the world? Should he lay in the lawn and let lawnmowers run over him? Should he go to Africa and be trampled by raging elephants? Whatever he decides, that freak of nature right there is just beginning to swell. And when he gets big enough, brother, there ain't gonna be room for anybody else but him and all the Warriors - floatin' through the veins and the power of the Warriaaaaaaaah... SNORTSNORTSNORT