Army Corps: Don't Rebuild This City On Rock and Roll

THIS CITY (CT) - Officials from the Army Corps of Engineers are warning this city, devastated by the effects of Hurricane Katrina, not to rebuild on rock and roll.

"Building this city on rock and roll was a wonderful idea, and we all hoped it would help to show that someone who was always playing corporation games," said Chief of Engineers Marty Wardecki. "But it simply didn't work. I urge residents and officials in the strongest possible terms: don't re-build this city on rock and roll."

Planners for this city had built an intricate rock-and-roll based foundation that was supposed to protect it from hurricanes and floods. But what was set to be just another Sunday in a tired old street quickly turned otherwise, as gale-force winds and inches after inches of rain causes the protections to give way early on. Torrents of water washed their way through this city, leaving thousands knee-deep in the hoopla. Police, who got the chokehold just as we lost the beat, reported too many runaways were eating up the night, forcing the governor to ask for National Guard troops to patrol the streets and keep the peace.

Mayor Mickey Thomas Jr. dismissed criticism that he and other officials refused to take hurricanes seriously. "We just want to dance here,"Â? Thomas said in an emotional press conference, "but someone stole the stage."

Despite the Army Corps' dire warnings, many residents of this city say they want it built on rock and roll, just as before. "I don't care if it's dangerous or not," said Vin Jacobi, an evacuee temporarily being housed at the Lawrence Welk Museum in Escondido, California. "This city is our home, our neighbor, our friend. It woudn't be the same if it wasn't built on rock and roll."