Homicide on Acid

Dear Dave:

Whoa, awesome site man. The colors are kinda trippy. I once killed a man. Yeah. Cool site.

Ken in Peoria

Dear Ken,

That doesn't surprise me, as Newsweek (May, 03) cited Peoria, IL as the "Homicide on Acid" capitol of the U.S. Having spent 4 years there myself, I quickly began taking acid to escape my troubles, and then murdering people so I'd have troubles to escape.

Dave,

I LOVE the new look of the site! It's so nice! It's like a real site now!

Judy, Nevada

Dear Judy,

Well, we have Active Member and Saucy Webmaster Brady to thank for the update. I, too, have done some web design work, but the handicapped midget porn industry is so saturated, I couldn't make a dime.

Dear Max Banner,

You always make me lauhg a lot cause your very funny and I liked your story about the pumpkin.

Bill, Wisconsin

Dear Bill,

If you read the header on this page closely, it says DAVE'S MAILBAG, not MAX BANNER'S MAILBAG. If you want to talk to Max Banner, you can reach him directly at max@whenwilltheitchingstop.com

Hi, Dave.

My name's Matt. Why does your band suck so bad?

Hoffman, F-off-ville

Dear "Hoffman,"

My band sucks because you sing in it.

Dear Dave,

You've been very good this year. What do you want for Christmas?

Santa, North Pole

Dear Santa,

Awesome! I knew not knocking over the homeless lady's cart would pay off this year! Ok. I'd like a bottle of Old Grandad, a bottle of Glen Drunkard and a pony. And get yourself something nice, too.