Bush Endorses Federal Sandwich Amendment

WASHINGTON (CT) - President Bush endorsed a constitutional amendment today that would define a sandwich as a union between two slices of bread and meat. "The union of bread and meat is the most enduring mealtime institution, honored and encouraged by chefs and eaters around the world,"Â? the President said, taking bites from a large Reuben in between paragraphs. "We cannot let the traditional sandwich be severed from its roots without endangering our society." White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Bush was reacting to "some liberal activist chefs in Massachusetts, who want to force their recipes onto the rest of us." The Massachusetts Culinary Board recently ruled that the state had to include other sandwich combinations, like bread, cheese and vegetables and peanut butter, jelly and bread, as sandwiches in the official categorization. The Bush Administration has endorsed a number of controversial amendments in recent weeks, including a constiitutional ban on gay marriages, a prohibition on flag burning, and, last week, the "President Gets To Do Cool Stuff" amendment. Senator John Kerry, Bush's main rival issued a statement condeming the amendment as "divisive and wrong." Kerry says he would support the passage of so-called "civil hoagie" legislation, which would give non-meat meals the legal protections of sandwiches without being termed as such. "While I support the institution of bread and meat as the sandwich institution,"Â? Kerry said, "surely we can support equal rights for nontraditional foods as well." George Smuckers, spokesman for the influential PB&J community, said he was "disappointed"Â? by Bush's and Kerry's statements. "Sandwiches are about commitment, not ingredients,"Â? he said. "Our leaders need to stop taking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for granted." Smuckers said the PB&J community will hold a protest at the Massachusetts State Capitol in Boston to protest early next week.