The Dirtiest Man In Chicago

Dave,

The idea of Martha Stewart throwing back a brew was enough to make me laugh out loud, but I wonder: what kind of beer would Martha drink?

Ed Small

Dear Ed,
It's funny you should ask, as I dated Martha for a number of years. But then when she became famous, all of a sudden the dirtiest man in Chicago wasn't good enough for her. I even washed my sheets once and she still wouldn't come back!

Martha drinks Ramrod Ale.



Why did you guys stop doing Campaign Treehouse? My favorite was the Hall and Oates one. I wish those guys would fight each other!!!

Andy

Madison, Wisconsin

Dear Andy,
We had to discontinue the popular installment when we received word that it was infringing on an X-rated webcam program produced by several University of Illinois students known as Champaign Treehouse. Which, by the way, is totally worth the $50 a month.




Dear Living Indefinitely-

Jeanne Shaheen lost her bid to be a New Hampshire senator, so maybe you guys shouldn't pose with her. It's bad luck!

Jen French

Exeter

Dear Jen,
That was Jeanne Shaheen? Huh.




Dear Dave,

I agree with "S. in Illinois" from your last mailbag. Streetcar has to get back together. Couldn't you and Christian, Jeff, and Brady go for it one more time?

Bob

Dear Bob,
Due to the overwhelming requests (this makes 2) I decided to try to get in touch with the other Streetcar members to see if we could throw a massive 3-suburb reunion tour this winter. Christian was very difficult to track down, but when I visited him on his Brazilian cocaine farm, he seemed optimistic about the tour idea. Upon contacting Jeff, I learned that he lost both of his arms in an unfortunate visit to a car wash, and that his new prosthetic arms will make it "a little tricky" to play drums again. Brady took quite a bit more convicing that the others - he seemed reluctant to reunite, as he rambled for 20 minutes about Streetcar being "a sham" and something about "when will the people learn." But I might be wrong, because "Air Bud: Golden Retriever" was on while I was talking on the phone with him, so needless to say, I was a little distracted.

I hope this clearly answers your question.




Dear Dave,

I noticed you guys got a lot of junk e-mail in your mailbag last month so here's a real letter. Not really real because it's e-mail and not REAL but you get the point. Ok cool so anyway I wanted to know if you guys ever watched any GOOD movies like Eight Legged Freaks. Ok thanks.

Matt from Illinois

Dear Matt,
We do see good movies from time to time (see "Air Bud: Golden Retriever" in the previous letter). Since ticket prices are so high these days, I personally try to limit myself to seeing 1 movie a year. This year, I'm holding out for "Ghost Dad II: The Revenge."