Weddings

My name isn't Emily Post or Miss Manners, but I am going to give you my views on weddings. Here is what to do when planning a wedding: Do it YOUR way. Here is the message to all of the other people who are bridesmaids, attendants, mothers, fathers, relatives, and not-so-well-meaning others: Your job is to do whatever the couple wants you to do as long as it's legal. The Bride and Groom make the decisions and all the other people nod, smile and ask "How can I help?" That is my advice in a nutshell. Now I will give you the details.

Money really gets to be the determinant of who calls the shots. If the couple getting married is footing the bill, the couple makes the important decisions. NO ONE ELSE! Of course, you should try to be tactful in every aspect of you life. However, when it comes to which dress you wear on your day, if you pay for it, you get to decide about big bows on your butt. If Mom or Dad have lots of money and want to run your wedding, it is your call if you want them to do that. You can have a huge wedding that may not be exactly what you want. Or you can go it on your own and have a smaller yet more interesting wedding. However you finance this shin-dig, remember you will be just as married the day after a huge drunk-fest as if you just went to the county courthouse.

Consider making this a real celebration. Maybe you think this is the one day you have been planning for your whole life and everything has to be white, beautiful and perfect. Guess what, life isn't perfect, so why not make it fun. Parties are about hanging out with friends. Is your Maid of Honor going out with the Best Man? No? Then why can't there be other people sitting at that head table so your Best Man sits with his best girl. Do you really like doing the chicken dance? No one else does either. And please get over the Macarena! Parties are supposed to be fun, not torturous.

One focus that can bring people to blows is the guest list. As a bride and groom in the modern world, you get to share your special day with whomever you want to share it with. Just because an ex is the son of your mother's brother's second cousin, doesn't mean you have to invite them. It is your party. This isn't a first grade birthday party. Invite only the people you want to see. If Aunt Flo hates Grandma Bessie, it is up to Aunt Flo to take the high road and act like an adult. And if fist start to fly, help is just a phone call away- 9-1-1!

Don't get me wrong, I like a fun wedding. However, no two people in this world are exactly alike and neither any two weddings. I have to admit, I don't remember the details of our wedding all that well. I like going to other people's weddings and seeing what might have gone on during our ceremony.

Remember, weddings are only the beginning of "happy ever after"Â?. Planning for the life AFTER the BIG DAY should be just as important as planning for the PARTY. Sit down and talk about life and togetherness. Really, it could help. If the bride thinks the groom shouldn't go to a strip club for the bachelor party and the groom goes anyway, maybe more time should be focused on the relationship rather than the party. Weddings aren't a cure for disagreements. Weddings are only a one day celebration. Marriages aren't made in a day or miraculously made wonderful by a Wedding. So, get over the Cinderella thoughts and have a fun party. See you at your Golden Anniversary!