Reese Witherspoon: She taught us how to love again.

I found your site on SatireSearch. It is one of the better sites out there. Keep up the good work.
Joe
Tyler, TX

Dear Joe,
Thanks, dog. We put our blood, sweat and tears into this site, which explains why we have to replace our keyboards so often. That, and I tend to spill whiskey quite a bit when I'm working.



Hi Dave.
I have my Chapternext tape here in front of me, and it looks like more songs on the CD track listing than on the tape. The extra "Blast" is an alternate version, right? What about "Jockey Club" and "Crowding Corners"?
Thanks for answering my question.
Nick
Boston, Mass

Dear Nick,
You've stumbled upon the secret mystical bonus tracks. Guarded for years by deceased Egyptian Pharoahs, these tracks were first found washed up along the banks of the Tigris-Euphrates River more than a century ago. They are told to have carried with them a curse, damning the first born son of each person who posesses this bonus track trinity. I think.



Can I enroll in Max Banner's classes since he's a professor of college?
L. Smith
In your brain

Dear L.,
I'm pretty sure there is a hefty waiting list for Max's classes. Not only is he a collegiate-level professor, he also has a PhD in Awesomeness.



I liked your al gore story.
sylvia

Dear Sylvia,
Thanks. We made up pretty much the whole thing. Even the part about him being eaten alive by a whale and surviving in its stomach for 40 days, feeding off the flesh of other not-yet-digested sea life. Kind of like a tapeworm.



Ok Dave, what's your FAVORITE movie? (Besides "Pillow Talk: The Arthur Ashe Story")?
Anne
Olympia

Dear Anne,
Oh, man - that is a tough question to answer. But I won't wuss out by saying "there are too many to list" or "I like anything with Brendan Fraser." So, excluding "The Arthur Ashe Story" (a brilliant tale of lust and tennis), my favorite movie of all time has to be "Sweet Home Alabama" with Reese Witherspoon. She taught us how to love again.