Googling Beatrice Appleyard

Dear Dave,
Your uncle sounds pretty cool, so I Googled Beatrice Appleyard. But nothing came up! What gives?

Erin, Dubuque, Iowa

Dear Erin,
I didn't read what my uncle wrote, I was in rehab and they prohibitted anything with corners, including monitors and printer paper. I don't know who Beatrice Appleyard is, but I'd probably google her, too.



We saw The Fear 2 but we didn't see the guy's underwear being on when he was supposed to be making out with that girl! Hilarious!

Doug and Tina, Florida

Dear Doug and Tina,
If you liked "Fear 2," you'll love the sequel when it comes out: "Seriously, Dude, Fear 3"



YOUR SONG ABOUT THE HURL SONG ROX DUDE LATER

DEAR LATER,
THANX MAN



So is this Satire for Dean that I saw in the New York Times? I can forward you guys jokes if you want.

TTFN,

Helen, NYC

Dear Helen,
That was indeed Satire for Dean in the NY Times. It's www.deanforamerica.com, but make sure you type in the address right, cause one time I typed www.beansforamerica.com and I got all these popup windows of farmers in cutoffs. Sure, I bookmarked it, but I didn't want to.



So Dave, did you dress up as a butterfly again for Halloween?

Cory, IL

Dear Cory,
On Halloween night, I went down to the basement to look for my butterfly wings, and when I finally found them they were full of giant whiskey stains from last year. After licking the wings for 45 minutes, I got a little spacey and ended up spending the night in a makeshift fort I constructed from couch cushions. I don't really remember what happened when those first trick-or-treaters came by, but the court order says I'm not allowed near children again until 2012.