Getting Mail With It

Dave,
"Stun Solitaire"Â? rocks... it's time for Streetcar to get back together!
S. in Illinois

Dear S.,
Why, thank you! Your compliment on Stun Solitaire took me quite a bit offguard, as the lyrics were pulled almost verbatim from a monologue Corky gave in Life Goes On. Look for the new Streetcar CD coming soon!



Hi,
I hope you dont mind me emailing you, but I just moved here and I was playing on the internet. I searched ICQ for people in this area. I work days and am too tired to go out at night, which makes it hard for me to meet people in this area. Anyway, I dont want to waste all your time, but if you are interested in showing a girl around town, or even just talking on the phone or instant messaging, just let me know.
Hope to here from you!
Tara

Dear Tara,
I know very little of the area myself as I just gave up a life of guaranteed stardom with my band in the west suburbs of Chicago to move out here to New Hampshire.
Just kidding, B!



Dave,
What are you going to be for Halloween?
Keiji

Dear Keiji,
I'm glad you asked. Halloween is an important time of year and one's costume is no less important, as it oftentimes subconsciously reveals great truths about one's psyche. I'm going as a butterfly.



Dear sir/Madam
We want to transfer to overseas the sum of One hundred and Forty Two Million United States Dollars (U.S.$142,000,000.00) from Africa.
I want to ask you to kindly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new bank account immediately to receive this money, though an empty bank account could serve this purpose as long as you will remain honest to me till the end of this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in time to come.
I am Dr.Gary .the external auditor of a Bank.During the course of our auditing,I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this account again.
After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that the owner of the account died without a Heir apparent to the throne hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.
The owner of this account who is Mr.Eshed.B.Willey, a foreigner and an industrialist died, since 1990,until now no other person(s) knows about this account or could give any documentary evidence concerning this account. As such this account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Eshed.B.Willey until his death was the manager Oriental Diamond Company,in South Africa.
However, if you are interested in this business we will start the first money transfer with Forty Two Million U.S.Dollars(U.S.$42,000,000.00) upon successful transaction without any disappointment fromyou. We shall also re-apply for the payment of the remaining amount to your account.
However, knowing all this, we will reach a binding agreement in this regards. As a matter of urgency, I will inform you the next step to take, while you Send your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during this process.
I look forward to your earliest reply through telephone,Fax or my email address.
Yours truly
Dr.Gary.



Dear Dr. Gary,
I am a graphic designer by trade. Needless to say, I don't need any more money.
P.S. Was that you on the NAMBLA message board last night? The FBI are on their way to your house as I write this.