Early Warning System

Having avenged his family as well as several dozen cultures wiped out by genocide, Cyborg Bacon and the half a teaspoon of blood left in his body drive home to watch America's Funniest Home Videos.

"Foxtrap" is most easily broken into three main narrative segments: 1) there's Fred Williamson, 2) there's a few other characters, 3) Fred Williamson kills the other characters.

This song is the culmination of Joan Fairfax Higgins's vision – it's a hymn to a man whose benevolence and generosity is equalled only by his colleagues in the pantheon of Blue Hairduism, Matlock and Willard Scott.

Maybe M-Town is able to get sex or "a cooked meal involving a rack of delicious ribs" upon playing "You're The Inspiration" for his "wives and girlfriend" - and to each his own, of course, but truly this video is one of the most hideous crimes ever committed against the eyeballs of VH1 fans.

The late 70's. Drugs. Terrible rock music. Jack Palance. Andy Warhol. Even more terrible disco music. A nerd getting doused in baby powder by a semi-nude maid. I am now older than my parents, having watched these interminable scenes.